Why does Chris Evans always grab his left boob when he laughs?
Hello, anon, and thank you for the question.
This topic has been studied by by researchers for years. There are three prevailing theories that I will relay to you now.
1. It keeps him on the ground.
You may notice in the gif above that Chris’ leg starts to rise as he laughs, possibly a precursor to his entire body undergoing a sort of lift off due to his joy. Chris then employs his upper body strength to force himself to obey the laws of gravity.
2. To check on his physique.
As you may be aware, anon, it takes a lot of hard work to maintain a superhero body. Chris is concerned that in the time he has spent sitting down, sans working out or eating, he has lost muscle mass. Understandably, he feels the need to make sure that he is still a specimen.
3. Object permanence.
Object permanence is a term applied to the understanding that an object still exists even when you cannot see it. Chris closes his eyes when he laughs, making him unable to see that he has not disappeared. By grabbing his left boob, Chris knows that he has not somehow ceased to exist.
So I just got back last night from a brony convention in San Francisco. I was working a booth for a vendor friend, and let me tell you what happened:
We met a little girl who was there with her family. She got a button drawn at our booth, told us all about her favorite ponies, and was overall just too damn cute. She had an MLP lanyard filled with pins she’d gotten in the vendor’s room, and gave me a Fluttershy pin because she liked my cosplay. She ended up just hanging out with us for a while and bein’ super cute. We call her Babby because she’s 11 and precious.
The next day, she runs up to the booth, terrified, and asks if she can please hide under our table for a few minutes. Turns out a dude had been following her around the con all day, and tried to get her to come up to his hotel room. Alone. She tells us she thought he was okay at first because he was wearing an MLP shirt, but she didn’t want to go anywhere with him, and he made her uneasy. At one point, after she’d refused, he grabbed her arm in the elevators and tried to get her to follow him. She ran, and now she wants somewhere to hide.
We tell her of course, hurry her behind our booth and fucking station ourselves around her because she’s eleven years old and all of us are prepared to physically attack the human trashheap who tries to fuck with her. We’re all dressed up in wings and ears and we’re 100000% prepared to rip them off and launch across that table to defend this kid. Eventually this very large dude strolls by, very obviously looking around, and she quietly points him out to us. At this point I’m ready to set him on fire, but when I ask if she needs me to go report him, she shakes her head. She doesn’t want to get in trouble, or make anyone mad.
We see him a few more times over the course of the day, because he keeps meandering over to our booth and just casually looking around. Eventually he actually stops to take a flier from our table and asks us a question, and we coldly send him on his way. We start sending a coworker with Babby whenever her parents aren’t around and she wants to go check out artist’s alley or the vendor’s hall. Because otherwise she’s not safe. She can’t run around and freely enjoy a convention about a show aimed at her, because instead of being surrounded by peers she’s somehow surrounded by men who pose a threat to her.
My point here: this is why I fucking hate “bronies.” Because grown-ass men are flooding into a space carved out for children—often little girls—and are making it unsafe for them.
I met a lot of non-awful people there, of course. I met a lot of parents and older siblings. A lot of adorable little boys who were happy to empathize with female characters, and a lot of little kids who wanted a picture with cosplays of their favorite pony. I met a lot of people who were cool and nice and just liked cartoons. I met a male Pinkie Pie cosplayer with a Fluttershy lady-friend who juggled and spun plates and was happy to entertain kids, and were generally just really cool people.
But I also met a lot of skeevy dudebros. A lot of guys in fedoras loudly discussing sexual shit in a room with children. Guys who drew/sold/displayed really fucking inappropriate “fanart,” including gross bodypillows that had no purpose in a little kids’ toy convention. I met a guy who gushed with absolute glee about the pleasure he derives from “corrupting innocence.” I met a lot of people who wanted to take something sweet and nice for children and make it about THEM. A lot of guys who wanted to make it about their dicks. People who made it UNSAFE for the intended audience to even be in attendance.
So yeah. If you call yourself a brony, I’m prolly not gonna trust you. Because I’ve seen y’all in action, and I am not impressed. Frankly I’m infuriated. This is like a bunch of gross neckbeards swarming Disneyland and shoving kids out of the way so they can grope Cinderella, and finding nothing wrong with it because they think they’re entitled to it.
My Little Pony is a really cute show with a lot of nice messages for kids, and gross brony shitweasels are trying to fucking take it from them by force. And I will fight them.
wHOA WHOA WHOA WHOAAAAAAAA!!!!!
wait a minute here.
you’ve made a fantastic point here and all, but listen, are YOU TELLING ME. THAT AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL RAN TO YOU. TERRIFIED. JUST NEARLY GOT ABDUCTED. BY A STRANGER, AN ADULT MAN. WHO TOUCHED HER. ALONE IN AN ELEVATOR.
and you let that predator walk free?
the little girl is scared of reporting him and you just go with it? what the fuck. whAT THE FUCK. THAT LITTLE GIRL ISN’T THE ONLY LITTLE GIRL WHO’S IN DANGER.
LISTEN YA’LL YOU CAN MAKE ALL THE GREAT POINTS YOU WANT ON TUMBLR BUT IF YOU MEET A CHILD WHO CONFIDES IN YOU THEY FEEL UNSAFE, EXPLICITLY TELL YOU A GROWN MAN IS HUNTING THEM OUT TO DO AWFUL THINGS TO THEM AND LITERALLY ABDUCT THEM, WHAT THE FUCK? YOU GET THAT PIECE OF SHIT IN JAIL. YOU HAVE SOMEONE KEEP HIM BUSY AND YOU GET THE FUCKING COPS. WHERE WERE HER PARENTS?? YOU ARE AN ADULT!!!! ACT LIKE ONE AND PROTECT LITTLE GIRLS AT ALL COSTS!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???? THAT GUY WAS FREE TO WALK OUT OF THERE AND CONTINUE BEING A GODDAMN PREDATOR I’M
…yeah, someone should have actually done something about that scumbag. Keep in mind that the bystander effect is a thing, and don’t be yet another bystander.
what the fuck is wrong with op seriously
hey, OP, you could possibly still do something about this. if you saw the guy so often you could probably describe him to cops and con organisers and shit. maybe they had cameras running they can get images of the guy from. maybe other guests did.
and not giving little girls the idea that not reporting predators when you have other adults literally surrounding you to keep you safe is the right choice. that’d probably be good too.
So, I do security at a couple of local conventions. Because one of those cons, Arisia, is particularly on the ball about this stuff, I’ve had training by our local rape crisis center (BARCC) about what to do when someone tells you about an incident of rape, sexual harassment, stalking, or other predatory behavior happening at your con. You want to know what we have been trained by these professionals to do in those cases?
Whatever the victim wants us to do.
Do you have *any* idea what it’s like to have someone do what they want to you regardless of what you want, of what feels good and safe and right, and then go to someone you trust and tell them, only to have them also ignore what you tell them feels safe and right? Can you imagine that? Because that is what you’re so upset the OP didn’t do to this girl that they befriended.
Cons have never been a safe environment - I even know cases where security people *were* the problem. We’re working hard to change that, but it takes time for people to learn about new policies and new options (so if you want to help someone in a case like this, you can yourself go to security and see if anonymous reports are an option - even offer to make the report for the victim - but even in that case you should only report if the victim wants to once they know about that option).
Also, people who have never been to cons before might not have the slightest notion what con security would do with such cases (and it varies so widely from con to con as well - most cons don’t even offer training like I’ve had to their staff). So I don’t expect everyone to trust us, be they new to cons or long-time veterans. And I sure as hell don’t expect people who don’t trust us to want to tell us something so deeply personal and vulnerable as an encounter with a predator.
At the end of the day, the OP did the right thing: they did what the victim told them to do. Now, can we stop derailing this post for errant white-knighting please?
“Bad books on writing tell you to ‘WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW’, a solemn and totally false adage that is the reason there exist so many mediocre novels about English professors contemplating adultery.”—Joe Haldeman (via carpebutts)
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